Finding Love – Article

If You Can’t Find A Good Partner, You’re Probably Making This Mistake

There’s a huge mistake that many people make when it comes to finding love. In this article, I’m going to tell you what that mistake is, and how to change it so you can attract the relationship you want.

The biggest mistake people make when it comes to finding love is: They believe a relationship is going to complete them.

What I mean is: You think something’s missing in your life, and another person will make that feeling go away.

You think that a relationship is the key to you being happy.

If you think this way (even just a little bit), I’m sorry to tell you that this is not the case. In fact, this mindset is sabotaging your experience in love. Here’s why:

1. Other people can feel it when you have anxiety about finding love.

Any time you approach a relationship from a sense of emptiness inside — like something is missing and you’re trying to fill a hole — it will be sensed by the people you’re dating. And it won’t feel good to them.

When you’re confident, your vibe goes something like this:”It’s nice to meet you, and we’ll see if I want to continue spending time with you.”Cool, calm, collected, and probably pretty intriguing.

But when you have that underlying feeling of needing to find a relationship, your entire vibe changes. It feels more like this: “Do you like me?”

Energetically, it’s not attractive. In fact, it has the opposite effect on people; it repels them away. And this is a big problem if you’re looking for love.

2. You attract experiences that match how you’re feeling on the inside.

If you feel like something’s missing in your life, then your experience will bring you proof that this perception is true.

For example, if you’re preoccupied with finding a partner and hyper-focused on not having one, you’ll continue to see the same results of not having a partner. The experience will appear in two specific ways: You’ll either remain single, or find a relationship that keeps you unfulfilled.

That’s probably not the outcome you’re looking for if you desire a loving partnership.

So, knowing all this, what can you do about it? How can you change to feel more secure, at ease, present and confident when you’re looking for love?

You start by searching for the feelings you think a relationship will bring you, inside yourself.

I know that at first you might be skeptical — you may think it’s impossible to feel connected, loved, held and taken care of without a partner. But I promise you that you can.

The most beautiful thing about this process is that once you find these feelings inside of you, you’ll be much more likely to find them in a relationship, too.

People tend overcomplicate this experience, which is referred to as self-love. And while the mind might have a hard time making sense of it, if you take a moment to drop into your heart, it will know exactly what I mean.

Self-love is simply a sense of finding peace, happiness, contentment, acceptance, and love inside of you.

It requires a quite mind, an open heart, and a connection to your inner voice.

You find self-love in a yoga practice.

You find self-love when you meditate.

You find self-love when you journal, go to therapy, and get to know yourself.

You find self-love by setting aside quite time to just be with you.

You have to feel good before you find a partner if you want the relationship to feel good, too.

By creating a practice of finding peace, strength, happiness, and fulfillment within, the sense of needing something outside of you to feel good will start to disappear. And when this happens, ironically, everything you’ve always wanted, including an incredible relationship, will make their way to you.

Spending Time Alone

Why and How You Can Benefit from Spending Time Alone

spending time alone

“Man is a social creature. However, that does not mean that man is at all times obligated to be surrounded by hordes of friends and acquaintances. That is a little golden rule that applies not only to introverts, but to everyone. There are benefits in spending some time alone with oneself, and there are plenty of ways to reap those benefits and use them to your advantage.

Through spending time alone and away from the buzzing of the crowd, one can find some inner peace, solve and examine their personal issues and troubles, and work on bettering themselves, work on their personal well being and relaxation. In short, time alone may very well lead you to the peace of mind we all so desperately seek. Here is how:

Benefit #1

When you are on the go all day, your mind is not still, either. You attention is always focused on the myriads of little things that need to be taken care of and the dozens of people that seek your assistance, consult, advice or help. And your mind toils and strives toward satisfying all those loose ends. But is there any time or focus on you? Sometimes, don’t you just wish for a break, for a second in which you can take a breath, stand still and enjoy the quiet? Time alone throughout the day, in small segments, can help you keep your balance, and most importantly, your sanity. Balance is what keeps us going, after all, so don’t be afraid to shut the door for a few minutes throughout the day and breathe. In those minutes, thinking is not a necessity.

Benefit #2

In that spirit, it becomes obvious how time alone is essential for your brain to effectively shut itself down, empty out all the thoughts that whirl inside of it day by day, hour by hour, and recharge itself in order to keep working. The brain can overload and develop faults, if one overworks it.

Benefit #3

It goes without saying that turning spending some time alone into a habit will help you tremendously in organizing your time and day. That way, you can examine the issues and projects at hand, see what needs what, and act accordingly. At the same time, you’ll be able to communicate with yourself; listen to your mind and your body, and take care of your needs. You can’t let your life pass by without you having no say in it because you have been too busy. It is your life, and you need to be able to control the aspects of it that drain or trouble you.

Benefit #4

Finally, here is another important reason why you need some alone time: because it will help you learn how to be alone. Nowadays, one of the most common causes of anxiety is the fear of being alone, leading to excessive socializing and somewhat degrading the true value of it.

There is a social misconception that someone who goes out in movies or coffee houses on their own is somehow a “loner”, or a “creep”, or just plain boring. Wrong. There is nothing wrong with doing activities by oneself. When watching a film alone, you have time later to think about it and absorb it into your being. When going to a coffee shop, you prove to yourself that you can do things by yourself. You learn to be independent, and you learn to be autonomous in mind. And you learn that solitude can be one of the little pleasures in life. So, enjoy yourself, go have that cup of coffee, go see that movie. Take a break.”

MARILYN R. GARDNER

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